What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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