Buhtt sex?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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