Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
