Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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