Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
