It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
