I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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