Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
