happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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