their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
