too bad you live with your parents still
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
