Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
