ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
