these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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