she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
