In the future we'll all be gay
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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