How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize