I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
