Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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