Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
