I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
