So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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