I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
