everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
