I'm really into asian looking animals
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think my moral compass just broke
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