You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
