Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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