I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
