Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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