we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
