So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
