Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
