just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will be naked everywhere
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
