my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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