all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just pee around me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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