First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
