remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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