I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
