Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
