some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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