so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
her vagine was all disorganized.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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