I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
