so let's talk penis.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
