I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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