We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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