i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
