He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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