Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she peed on how many people?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
