If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
