The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
