I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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