i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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